Bettering Myself

I've come to a conclusion that I must better myself, I think everyone always knows this. I just know there is always room for improvement and I need to keep improving! One of the aspects of improvement I have started is regular meditation. I have always tried to meditate, but I just kept saying I didn't have time. Well after going to the Graduate Assistant seminar, I learned saying I don't have enough time is never true. So I have started budgeting out my time (suprise, suprise, we have way more time than we think).

Back to meditation. Since I went to Philly and saw my friend Sonia meditating every night for 5 minutes, I thought well I'm gonna do that too. Well Philly was in April, I hadn't meditated once since then...

Well about two weeks ago I began reading Eat, Pray, Love. Similart to most, she has a hard time with her meditation as well and I have used her as my inspiration. Starting Tuesday night I set my goal of meditating 5 minutes every night and I did it. Tuesday nights meditation went okay. I felt my thoughts slipping to "how am I going to fit this in my schedule? yeah right before bed works..." wait don't think of that. So I would go back to Elizabeth Gilbert's suggestion (author of Eat, Pray, Love). Ham-sha (Hahhmm (not like the food), shaw), which means I am THAT in sanskrit. Ham on inhale, sha on exhale. It works until my thoughts wander again... "what about yoga or pilates? where will I fit that in." But I quickly debunked that thoght and was back in inhale Ham, exhale sha. Overall, Tuesday night went well... the five minutes actually went by faster than I expected!

Then Wednesday came and I began meditation again. Well I told Shane I would meditate and of course he starts singing a stupid song right as I sit down. To which I get up and tell him "this is serious" and close the door on him. Well Capri followed me out and kept trying to lick my hands or cuddle with me. Then she starts growling at the nothing she always growls at. Yet, the back door was open making me think someone or something was there. So my eyes shot open and I looked around... nothing there just as I expected! So I closed my eyes again... but nothing, no focus, hardly a full Ham-sha without a thought in the middle! Ugh!!!!

I suppose there will be good days, and bad days! I'll be back at it again tonight and I have a meditation class at Ruby Juice on the 24th and 31st! I'm definitely looking forward to those!!!!

Why I Won't Go to My High School Reunion

We all look back at high school and most of us have a good experience... if it's not good at least it's "okay." Well I guess I was lucky in a way because I lucked out... then again I spent most of my sophomore year with Shane, junior year with Betty, and senior year avoiding going to school altogether. I had a friend every year and tried to keep it at one, and other than my wonderful husband I cannot say I am friends with any of those people anymore. I tried to stay out of everything and just act like I wasn't there, but I still had people who hated me (mostly because I was dating my husband and they weren't). However, I had it good for the most part, not popular and not too picked on. Yet, I think of at least three people (who are amazing) who did not have the same experience.

These three people (who will remained unnamed) never tried to create drama, but for some reason it always came to them. From throwing 'I hate NAME' parties, to making fun of someone for their weight, or even continuing to say TERRIBLE things publicly about a person, these girls endured more from others than most. I can say one thing about these girls though, they kick ass!!! They have all worked hard to become who they are today, mom's, professionals, students. Just all around amazing people!! Yet, when I look at the "mean" girls, they haven't changed. They still find ways to cut down someone else in order to make themselves feel happy. They still harass the same people they did in high school and in all honesty, still party and drink like they are in high school!

This is why I won't attend my high school reunion. I have few friends I still talk to on a regular basis that I went to high school with. But these three girls (although some I didn't see much in high school) are still a huge part of my life. I just cannot condone the way the "mean" girls treated others and in my world I will erase them however possible!!! I just hope all the girls (and boys) that are enduring bullying today realize they are the bigger person and that they will find the people who care the most about them. Bullies never change, but they do at some point realize they have no true friends!