The Bigger Person

I am the nice girl, the one that will light up the room and talk to EVERYONE in sight. I am the one who will find the wallflower or the person who is the "icky" one and be their friend. I accept everyone, I truly live by the "innocent until proven guilty" motto, I trust, I love, and I accept.

Back when I worked at the crisis center I refused to read "the book" which housed information of each and every child there from their family background, to their previous wrong doings failing to leave anything out. I felt as a peer worker and only 16-18 years of age that I would not have the capacity to not judge a person from their past (or even present), if a child wanted to tell me why they were there they would and I learned that I quickly earned their trust and they always told me. I was told once why a boy was there for safety reasons and I judged him, ONLY TO FIND, he turned out the best and he wasn't afraid of his past. When he went on to the Cathedral Home and was able to go to the high school he made it a point everyday to find me and say hi, he was one of the most amazing people their and I judged him. He died when he was 17 while swimming with the group at a lake that was too cold, he caught hypothermia and drowned. I quit CC right after that, but never faltering to see my boys and have each and everyone of them never be afraid to say hi. I think about that particular boy everyday and strive to be more like he was; genuinely friendly and always striving for better.

The true point of this story is I've learned that when I'm not the bigger person I come to find that I was mistaken by a quick lapse of judgment (literally). However, I have found a few places where this is not the case. There are some people out there that are quick to judge me, I'm not sure why when I wave to them or say hi to them they do nothing but smirk at me like I'm not good enough to be in THEIR house. When I thank them for a small favor they did, they save well "I needed the washer." Not you're welcome, not oh no big deal, it's "well I needed the washer," although, I was genuinely thankful for the small favor of folding our clothes. Or when you are angry because someone is telling the dog to shut up and you yell at me and my friend and I find out later that you thought it was me when I could give two craps about your dog barking at me, shoot I have one at home who barks at everyone and it's embarrassing to me, but you don't have the balls to tell your own dog to shut up. I guess it's your fault that you look like a fool when I think you're dog is cute and don't mind that he doesn't like me because I'm a stranger to him. However, I have learned that when my dog barks at people she will listen to me because I have her trained to know that is not okay and the two simple rules "Capri, No!" are all it takes and she leaves the room.

It's times like these that I wonder why I am always the bigger person? Why am I always the one who bites my tongue? Why am I always the one who let's the rest of the world walk all over me? Why am I the one who will still send a thank you card even though you were not all that nice to me while I stayed at your house? I know, because I am not only the bigger person but I am also the better person!!! Judge what you will and say what you might but I'm bigger and better and when you get that card, regardless of how you treated me, you will feel like the fool because I am a nice person and I AM a caring, loving, trusting person!!!