Making Things Happen in 2010

I DID IT!!! I am proud to say that I accomplished goal # 48. Today I read Stephanie Osborne's blog "What I've Learned" and it reminded me that I really wanted to do the Make Things Happen in 2010 that she did. I saw the link the Lara Casey's "Push Through Your Fears" blog and went to it. I've gone to this once before and just did not have time to complete it then and kept promising myself I would go back. One fo these days I will learn how to post links in here too so that everyone else can do this wonderful thing. I honestly am going to put all this out there for everyone to see because what good would this do if I kept it all to myself.

Fears (write down was you are afraid of and why):
I am afraind of failing; not making it into law school, failing a test, losing money, becoming bankrupt, not being as close to my family as I want to be, failing my friendships because I am too focused on life, and failing my love because I worry too much about other things. This all scares me because it's reality! There's no sure fire way to get into law school and there's no sure fire support that we aren't moving too fast into buying a house, what if we lose our jobs? I'm afraing of losing my family and friends because I watch people grow apart all the time. I've watched best friend after best friend move away and my heart constantly aches from missing my sisters (Jordyne and Chelsea). What if mom and Lindz leave too?!?! I'm afraid to fail my love (Shane) because I saw it happen to my parents and I see it happen all the time, people give up all the time.

People (who are the people I spend my day with and how do they make me feel):
I won't get into names but I know there are still people in my life who consistently hurt me and are not worth my time. Worst part is a lot of these people are people that are supposed to really love and care about you unconditionally.

People I never thought about are those at work. I'd like to say good things but ultimately they overwhelm me (not Amanda), maybe I let them get to me too much! I cannot honestly say I want to go to work though (at least about Catering).

Some others are Shane and the roommates. I hate the roommates, it's a constant battle with them over the silliest stuff. I'm not even comfortable in my own home I can't even invite friends/family over nor do I hang out in my own living room. Of course Shane is great. He feels the same way as I do and is very supportive in EVERYTHING I do.

My mom, Lindz, and Talon are my escape. They love me unconditionally, continuously telling me how great I am and how much they love me. Never am I unhappy with them, they can make me smile like there is no tomorrow and like Shane they melt whatever is bothering me. They are always supportive even if they don't agree.

Lastly are my friends but especially Lisa and Chels. They get ME (much like my mom, Lindz, Talon, and Shane) but they just get it. Lisa is one of my inspirations, her and Matt are always finding things to do and alwasy show how much they ove each other (they're great examples). Chels is my heart, even thoguht I can't see her I can always feel her and know she's there.

During this section something stood out to me that Lara said "I'm not good at cutting ties with people because I always feel like I can just "make it work." No, I can't and you can't either. You cannot change people." <<~~ This is truly one of my biggest issues, I always think I can make it work that I can just change me and maybe it will be better but honestly it's not right, if they don't like me without me molding to them then why do I give them time?! Of course there are SO many more people in my life but those above are the ones that I talk to or think of EVERYDAY!!!

Who do you bounce ideas of of? Who gives you sound advice?
My mom first and foremost!!! I tend to follow in her footsteps and she's right there in front of me akk the time reminding me to keep going even when the going gets rough. She always reminds me to breathe and take me time, that I can't "fix" people and I can't chagne what others do.

Secondly is my sister (Lindz), she may not know it but her advice just comes from her example. She's a rock and while she thinks I'm her rock, it's really her that is my rock.

Of course there is more and most of them know who they are. And DUH Shane, he alwys tells me that he already told me what my mom or Lindz said, maybe I need to listen more. He also reminds me that even when I get stressed out of my mind and feel like giving up that I'm always the one that perserveres and I always come out on top. He says I won't fail, that I'm not capable of failure (I know everyone is capable of failure though).

What are the 5 essential things that make you feel whole and like you have your life together?
* Studying (not being behind in school)
* Working out (yoga, elliptical, abs, dance, anything)
* Cooking my meals instead of going out to eat.
* DRINK WATER!!!!
* Talking to the people that love me everyday (feeling that warmth and smiling)

What excuses do you make?
* There's not enough time!
* I'm too tired or I don't feel good.

What are your unique strengths?
* I'm good at putting smiles on peoples' faces and reminding them they're worth it and someone cares.
* I'm an inspriation. Sure it's not unique, most people are, but I hear all the time how much people look up to me, even if they're older.
* I'm a denegative nancifier (yes, I just made that up). I absolutely do not tolerate negativeness. I'm the person who will say "tell me 5 good things about your day because it can't be that bad." I look for the positive in EVERYTHING!
--Note-- I wasn't always like this, it was something that I had to work REALLY hard toward and I do get down sometimes don't get me wrong, but I learned that life can be so much worse so you have to love and trust in what you have.

What are your big ideas? What are the things you want to make happen?
* I want to be a lawyer! The protector of children, women, and great fathers! I want to help people and remind them that they are so much more than this one bad moment!
* I want to write a book. I don't know on what yet, but I know I want to.
* I want to leran from a REAL Buddhist, someone who can REALLT teach me what it's all about. * I want to learn to meditate and pray in MY way!
* I want to learn that I can't please everyone, all I can do is be me.

That's it, I did it and I completed the goal. I have all this down on paper and now it's time to pursue all of this!!! Maybe someone can help me cuz now I am a little lost, WHAT'S NEXT?!?!?!

Well shoot....

I'm beginning to feel like all of my goals have taken a back seat to school, house shopping, and sickness. I have been doing really good with my nightly routine and with taking vitamins every night but then I forget to count so I guessed I'm 10 days into the 90. I think that is guessing low too. Most of my other goals have fallen off right now. I try to visit my dad twice a week but life is always getting in the way!!! These past two Sundays have fallen at bad times so I haven't got over there. I have seen him once a week but I was 3 into the 8 and that got smashed lol so now it's starting over. It just feels like I'm getting no where with anything but my drinking water, night routine, and vitamins goals!

On a good note...
I have looked into a lot of stuff for law school. I will be signing up for the LSAT as soon as I get the papers that waive fees in (ha I cannot afford those) and I'll be taking that in June. I also talked to a lawyer here in town Jill Higham and she connected me with her fiance Tom Fleener who told me I could shadow him and then when him and Murdock merge officially at the end of summer I can be hired on as a receptionist!! WOOT!!! That's my big news as of now. My house shopping is going as well as Wyoming lets it!